Rally To Restore Sanity and/or Fear

Schedule as of Friday; for updates, click here.

If you can’t be in Washington DC, find a local gathering.

PRE-PRE SHOW — 10 a.m. to 12 p.m.

Video montages/music will play on the Jumbotrons around the venue to entertain the crowd as they gather.

PRESHOW — 12 p.m. to 1 p.m.

12:00 – 12:40 — THE ROOTS will play for the crowd.

12:40 – 12:57 — Comedian (TBD) will warm-up the audience.

12:57 – 1:00 — Video countdown & intros

SHOW — 1 p.m. to 3 p.m.

1:00 – 1:05 SINGING OF THE NATIONAL ANTHEM — Musical guest (TBD)

1:05 – 1:20 JON STEWART welcomes the crowd

1:20 – 1:30 STEPHEN COLBERT enters

1:30 – 1:35 BENEDICTION by actor Don Novello

1:35 – 1:40 POEM read by actor Sam Waterston

1:40 – 1:50 JEFF TWEEDY & MAVIS STAPLES perform

1:50 – 2:15 JON & STEPHEN perform

2:15 – 2:20 SHERYL CROW performs

2:20 – 2:30 SPEAKERS Guests make brief statements, both LIVE and TAPE (TBD)

2:30 – 2:40 MUSICAL GUEST (TBD)

2:40 – 2:40 SANITY & FEAR awards – PRETAPED footage.

2:50 – 3:00 JON AND STEPHEN’S FINAL STATEMENTS

3:00 – ???  SANITY RESTORED IN AMERICA

(Let’s hope that last one lasts at least until Wednesday…)

Baiting The Hook

It used to be just junk mail and telephone solicitations, but thanks to Al Gore’s invention any moron with a keyboard is free to roam into traffic. (Look no further than your humble host). But although many of these people are truly as dumb as a rock, some of them are just having fun at your expense.

We all know about the many books and albums featuring comedians torturing telemarketers, but that’s easy bait. What’s much funnier is subtly worming your way to a more difficult target and letting them participate in their own demise.

I was thinking about The Lazlo Letters, Don Novello’s wonderful book of letters written to celebrities and corporations by the fictional Lazlo Toth. I grew up reading and enjoying those as well as similar idiot-bashing pieces, even contrived work like the fictional “letters to the Editors” column in National Lampoon. Pranking dolts isn’t a new art form – Groucho Marx was fond of the game – and there are many good examples. Enjoy!

The Lazlo Letters by Don Novello.

Hello Junk Mail and Letters From A Nut, by Ted L Nancy.

Emails From An Asshole a/k/a/ Don’t Even Reply

Idiot Letters by Paul Rosa.

Stories From a Moron by Ed Broth.

Fun With Pedophiles: The Best of Baiting by Doug Stanhope.

Wilber Winkle Has A Complaint.