Unless you’re living under a rock – and maybe even that isn’t sequestered enough – you know that Glee has returned from hiatus to complete its run of episodes this Spring.
This week’s show was a bit of a mixed bag, with the obligatory re-establishment of the key plot points, the introduction of new characters (including Idina Menzel from Rent and Wicked), and the trucking out of one of the most dreadful songs ever written, Lionel Ritchie’s “Hello”.
I realize that the script occasionally needs to twist uncomfortably to work in the theme for the songs, and there’s enough about the show that’s enjoyable that I can roll with it. But even though “Hello” is a viable duet that fits the concept, a shitty song is a shitty song is a shitty song. Music is subjective. Your mileage may vary.
And speaking of shitty songs, there’s “Vogue” by Madonna. Hate, hate, hate that song. But Jane Lynch knocked that bitch out of the park. Then again, Jane Lynch can do no wrong. Next week is a whole Madonna-themed episode, so I’ll have my sick bag at the ready.
But that got me thinking…they’ve already tackled Queen, Journey, The Doors, AC/DC, The Pretenders, John Lennon…hell, even Generation X! They’s as unafraid to toss out a classic rock song as they are to pomp with fluff. So here are ten terrific tunes that I’d like to see Glee-ified…
01: ”Pushin Too Hard” (The Seeds) – perfect for Artie, I think. Especially since “Wheels” would be too Americana for Glee.
02: ”Can’t Hardly Wait” (The Replacements) – a back beat made for dancing, plus they get to use the horns and strings that always seem to be available.
03: ”Better Things” (The Kinks) – Any show about high school deals with overcoming adversity or at least hoping that things will turn around. And what better song for that than this?
04: ”One Way Ticket To Hell and Back” (The Darkness) – man, they missed the boat by leaving this one out this week. Perfect blend of AC/DC and falsetto would have provided great solos for many in the cast.
05: ”It Wouldn’t Have made Any Difference” (Todd Rundgren) – they do like their power ballads on the show, emotional vocal drama helps sustain the plot. Given the current relationship angst, is there a better choice than this classic?
06: ”We Hate It When Our Friends Become Successful” (Morrissey) – because this sentiment is high school in a nutshell. Maybe even ”I Know It’s Going To Happen Someday”? But they’ll never do “You’re The One For Me, Fatty”.
08: ”Teacher Teacher” (Rockpile) – “Schools Out” would be too corny, and “Hot For Teacher” might be too risqué…but this little Rockpile ditty would be perfect.
09: ”Doll Hospital” (John Hiatt) – we need a song for the Cheerios girls, don’t we? Not to mention this could be the subplot for the one who’s preggers. (I’d use the studio version in the show, but any excuse I get to pimp Sonny Landreth is worth taking).
10: ”September Gurls” (Big Star). Because Alex Chilton deserves a wider audience for posterity. Because it’s one of the most perfect pop songs ever written. And because, like Alex, I can vouch that December Boys got it bad.
And here’s your Glee episode guide, courtesy TV.com.