Celebretards

Don't worry - they can't read it

Don't worry - they can't read it

BEATING A DEAD HORSE…So let me get this straight. An album that comes out in 2003, and is itself a compilation of music even older than that, somehow can get nominated for Album of the Year? And an artist who hasn’t released a new piece of music in years and even dies midway through the year is a nominee for Entertainer of the Year? Entertained how? By continuing to provide creepy tabloid fodder? Does no one understand the concept of rest in peace? Bad enough Elvis is buried in his backyard like a house pet, now we gotta ghoul it up again with his sorta son-in-law? (I think I just puked in my mouth a little…) That’s what happens when an award is based on album sales. Maybe Dark Side of the Moon will win next year.

CHEATING, UH OF COURSE…And before you tell me that this award-nominated album – unreleased as of yet, mind you – contains new songs, it only took a day to debunk that charade. And not only were these tracks older material, the choice for first single “This Is It” was issued without credit to the real songwriter. “We just found it in a box” said the label chairperson. (I will resist the obvious joke here). So pants down, that loveable family said “oops” and decided to pay the guy fifty percent of the royalties. Wonder if that admission would have come out if it wasn’t someone as famous as Paul Anka? Nice work, Sony.

TWEETING, A DEAD FORCE?…And oh, what will I do without the constant barrage of inanity from Miley Cyrus and Kate Moss and Courtney Love and all of those nameless skanks from reality shows? Probably the same things I’m doing now, since I don’t let my life get disrupted by the most inane fad since the Pet Rock. At least the Pet Rock just sat there and left you alone instead of constantly pebbling “I feel solid right now” or “I’m still here where you left me”. Stop abusing the technology, people. And if your undeserved fifteen minutes is up…go away! Like Darren Frost says, make your millions and then get lost. (<— hilarious, but not for the workplace.)

Pet Rock

Ah, I feel better. Sorry for the purge, but it’s hard to try to check in with the entertainment world and not feel the immediate need to bathe and use mental floss. Amazing that stuff like that is getting millions of hits while the insurance industry and the government are about to screw up health care in America again and we just sit by and watch. (Sorry…I promised this was a politics free zone.)

Finally – and sadly – a blue cheer and salute for the late Dickie Peterson, the heart and soul of Blue Cheer. The band survived off and on over the years but never recaptured the fire that started with their cover of “Summertime Blues” in the 60s. Still they recently tossed a couple of interesting platters our way and even made ears bleed in a small club in my town. So the next time you hear thunder from above, it might be a bass player.

Dickie Peterson and Blue Cheer wiki

Thundah!

Blue Cheer

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2 Comments

Filed under Editorials

2 responses to “Celebretards

  1. Awards shows are always artistically bankrupt these days. It’s about the industry patting itself on the back for success (and remember when selling 1.something million records was considered modest?), not about pushing art forward.

  2. drbristol

    Absolutely. But as long as they put that ball on the tee, I’m going to whack it.

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