Tag Archives: Beady Eye

New Kinks Movie!

AP (LONDON) – After months of terse negotiations, former Oasis members and famous battling brothers Liam and Noel Gallagher have signed on to portray Ray and Dave Davies, respectively, in the upcoming film The Great Lost Kinks Movie. Initially slated for the project, the pair’s long history of bizarre behavior led producers to look elsewhere in the hope of finding other real-life brothers who could convincingly portray the love-hate relationship between the Kinks siblings.

A source close to the project stated that Chris and Rich Robinson of The Black Crowes had the right attitude but the wrong look, while two of The Isley Brothers were deemed “too old” and “not pasty enough”. Michael Caine showed up at the audition offering to play both parts, stunning the casting director with an official OBE document that requires him to “be cast in every film production scheduled during his lifetime”.

Other suggestions (The Righteous Brothers, The Krays) were dismissed because the subjects were either dead or not really brothers (or both), and long-shot hopefuls Wladimir and Vitali Klitschko disappointed producers by refusing to fight one another.

With the state of their old band in doubt, and new projects Beady Eye and High Flying Birds no more than third tier bands, the Gallaghers were wooed back to the project and signed on. “I think we’ll be bloody perfect“, offered Noel, “because like Dave, I have suffered second banana status in my own band thanks to an arse of a front-man“. And while Noel is not certain that brother Liam will capture the panache and depth of tortured genius Ray, “there’s a long line of people who would love to shoot that cunt in the leg“.

Filming starts next week in Muswell Hill.

Why stop at the leg?

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What Decade is This, Anyway?

It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel...dizzy?

Seems like a lot of famous bands from my wonder years want to get one last album out before the world explodes into dust in 2012. Probably time for an arena tour too, although I don’t know why they’d need all that cash. Don’t you only need new Nikes and a roll of quarters to board the spaceship?

I guess what triggered this post today was remembering that The Cars are regrouping and releasing a brand new album (Move Like This). Now a quartet since Ben Orr is no longer with us, the band decided they didn’t want to bring in any outsiders. Well, that’s their take on it with Ric Ocasek in the fold, anyway; they are conveniently not mentioning a failed experiment called The New Cars. But that’s just picking nits.

Videos: The Cars – Blue Tip” (full song), “Sad Song” (clip),  “Free“(clip)

And it doesn’t end there. Steve Miller resurfaced with Bingo last year after a very long hiatus, and now he has another called Let Your Hair Down. Former Babys and Bad English frontman John Waite is releasing Rough and Tumble, pouting puss and all. The New York Dolls continue their rebirth (albeit with another change in band members) with Dancing Backwards In High Heels, and R.E.M. has Collapse Into Time.

Low Country Blues is Gregg Allman’s first solo release in fourteen years. Paul Simon will turn seventy this year (!) but So Beautiful Or So What ends five years of (sounds of) silence for him.

More recent bands are also ending extended vacations. The Strokes have their first in five years as do the Foo Fighters, and Radiohead ends an even lengthier one with The King Of Limbs. Social Distortion has already blazed back on the scene with Hard Times and Nursery Rhymes, and most of Oasis is back under the name Beady Eye.

Video: Beady Eye – The Roller

And even artists I avoid like Duran Duran, Stevie Nicks and Edie Brickell are taking another shot. (Brickell nauseates me so thoroughly that I’m not even providing a link.)

Amazon is even dangling an order for Robin Zander’s Countryside Blvd for the third year in a row. I’m starting to think there’s really no album at all. Look at that album cover – maybe he’s just mocking Toby Keith. Ludicrous suggestion? Anything is possible – remember, this really happened.

Hey kids, rock and roll. Rock on.

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