Tag Archives: Britney Spears

Rocky Horror Glee Show

There are some things that I’ll never understand.

I don’t get the fascination people have with reality television and celebretards. Nor do I get why there have been seventy-six editions of the Now That’s What I Call Music series to date, with no sign of stopping.

I also don’t understand how the CD releases from Glee have sold over five million copies so far, presumably to the same people who watch the show religiously. They’re simply collections of cover songs, organized by theme or artist, marketed to the same people who watch the show and buy the DVDs. (And Gleeks, you know that you are buying the DVDs and all the CDs.) Television hasn’t sold music this well since The Monkees.

The songs are well produced and arranged, of course, and the vocals are usually very good but (1) they’re usually straightforward covers, not reinvented arrangements and (2) the thrust of the show is the melodramatic, over-the-top theatrical production surrounding it. You’re not capturing that on an audio CD.

But I soon might have to make an exception.

 In October, Glee will broadcast a Rocky Horror Show episode. After wading through terrible rap tunes, Lady GaGa drivel, overblown Journey crap and an entire episode of Madonna dreck (saved only by the brilliant Jane Lynch performing “Vogue“), I’m thrilled that the majestic, fantastic Richard O’Brien opus will get its due. Hell, thirty five years later it’s still an iconic classic whose songs never fail to get me going…high praise after dozens of post-midnight screenings with props and audience participation.

The full track listing for  ”Glee: The Music, The Rocky Horror Glee Show” is as follows:

  1. Science Fiction Double Feature
  2. Damn It, Janet
  3. Whatever Happened To Saturday Night?
  4. Sweet Transvestite
  5. Touch A Touch A Touch A Touch Me
  6. There’s A Light (Over at Frankenstein Place)
  7. Time Warp

Glee has had three consecutive number one album releases and I suspect this will be their fourth. Hell, I might even have to break down myself and grab one.

I think my cat is reading my diary.

Meantime, tonight I will survive an onslaught of Britney Spears horse shit just for the ability to see the incredible Heather Morris (who plays Brittany, the dimmest bulb on television) get her turn in the spotlight. That should hold me over until Neil Patrick Harris returns for another guest spot.

Admittedly, my initial enthusiasm for the show has waned, but Lynch and Morris are consistently funny and the dynamic between gay Kurt and his dad (Mike O’Malley in a flawless performance) is some of the best work on TV, period.

And please…can Tim Curry make an appearance on October 26th?

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Filed under Comedy, Film/TV, Music, Reviews

NEW ALBUM! Tinted Windows

Pure Pop for Then People

Pure Pop for Then People

I’m going to lay my cards on the table right up front, so if you want to be one of the snarky majority you can click away now. Because I’m here to tell you that Tinted Windows – the self-titled album from Bun E. Carlos, Adam Schlesinger, Taylor Hanson and James Iha – is the best pop record anyone has released to date in 2009.

(Waits for snarky people to laugh…or leave…)

Sample this, mofos.

This album rockets right out of the box with “Kind of a Girl” and doesn’t let up, which is no surprise considering Fountain of Wayne‘s Adam Schlesinger wrote the first four tracks (and seven of the eleven songs overall – eight if you count the co-write with Hanson). “Kind of a Girl” is jukebox glory; it has the big hooks, the octave choruses, the machine gun drums and Hanson’s best Robin Zander impression. Like a few songs on the album, it’s reminiscent of Cheap Trick‘s landmark In Color album (look no further than the ‘c’mon c’mon’ within “Messing With My Head”, another single in waiting). Adam’s second best contribution is the rocking “We Got Something”, which hopefully follows “Kind of a Girl” out of the chute as a single. It’s classic 70s powerpop with a more muscular mix.

But the killer single here might be track 3, the power ballad “Dead Serious” – I don’t think I’ve heard a better radio song all year. It is a monster. You give this track to any American Idol contestant, any young pop star being marketed to the melodic pop crowd…hell, any country-pop female from Kelly Clarkson to Shania Twain and they could top the charts with it. It’s that simple. It’s that infectious. It’s that perfect. But the industry isn’t going to let a man band run with this, even if the lead singer is as close to a teenybop idol as the rock world has at the moment.

“Dead Serious” live at SXSW.

James Iha adds a hooky mid-tempo “Back With You” (Bryan Adams would top the charts with this) along with the riff rocker “Cha Cha”(if The Sweet reunites, this is a natural). Hanson’s two efforts are solid pop as well; “Nothing To Me” again sounds like a Big Star track ghostwritten for Zander, and the co-write with Schelsinger (“Take Me Back”) is classic stutter-stop power-pop, complete with those ooh-ooh-ooh choruses that make girls swoon. Bubblegum pop so sticky sweet that you’ll need to wipe your hands after listening…not that there’s anything wrong with that.

But despite all of the above, this album and band/project (whichever it turns out to be) will ultimately fall a bit short. Why? Because there is no market for power-pop. Every one of these tracks would sound just fine blasting from the radio, especially in summer, but the likelihood of that peaked thirty to forty years ago. Powerpop doesn’t have a fan fest. Powerpop doesn’t have a video channel. Powerpop doesn’t go well with skateboards and hoodies.

You could give these songs to Pink and she’d make an album that would sell millions with minimal changes to the arrangements. Shania would have Mutt country-punch the production and she’d revive her career. Britney Spears could even have her people douse these songs in beats, ridiculous echo and synth programming and hire forty dancers…but if she cut these songs people would take her seriously again.

But any of those people – and more – would probably just fuck it up anyway. Instead we have the right men for the job, albeit at the wrong time. It’s too bubblegum for Cheap Trick. It’s too consistently rocking for Hanson. It’s too lyrically adolescant for Fountains of Wayne. And as far as Smashing Pumpkins…well, it doesn’t suck.

But whoever cobbled this foursome together hit the bullseye – a great songwriter, a classic pop drummer, a chunking power chord guitarist and a cherubic vocalist. They sound like they’re having a blast and most importantly they play to their strengths. Iha proved on his solo album that he’s not a front man, but he has chops; likewise Schlesinger knows these songs are more about hooks than message and need to be sung by a younger, more enthusiastic pop star. Carlos, as always, is a rock solid foundation. They released a great album. Hopefully the lads will look in the tinted mirror and tell themselves  “We Got Something”.

All those bad reviews are missing the whole point. They are wrong. I am right.

But stop reading and let your ears decide.

 Live version of “Cha Cha”

Live version of “We Got Something”

Video for “Kind of a Girl”

Video for “Messing With My Head”

NOT Tinted Windows.

Frankenstein project, monster hits.
Frankenstein project, monster hits.

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Filed under Music, Reviews