Tag Archives: television

T.G.I.F. – Ten Tanked TV Shows

I just found out that The Chicago Code was cancelled, and I’m pissed. Sure, Jennifer Beals might have floated a bit more cleavage than a Police Superintendent would do in real life, but the cast (led by Jason Clarke) was pretty strong, including the amazing Delroy Lindo as the oily, corrupt Alderman. Pacing was good and stories weaved well, like any Shawn Ryan project. But I guess we needed more space on the network for celebretard reality shows.

What else is new? Seems like when TV takes a chance, the American public is hesitant to accept it. But really, how do they know? And wouldn’t a loyal core audience not be more valuable than a flighty larger one that will only move along to the next carbon copy?

So enjoy your umpteenth Kardashian expose knowing these Ten Tanked TV Shows bit the dust.

(01) – Dark Blue – Sure, s bit sullen and somber, but good action.

(02) – Human Target – A mix of cartoon and drama. Jackie Earle Haley!

(03) – The Event – Sure, not official yet, but they killed the momentum.

(04) – Lights OutFX was the one with the quick hook here.

(05) – The Cape – Ludicrous, but that was the point.

(06) – Terriers – Like I said, not Shawn Ryan’s year. Brilliant show.

(07) – The Good Guys – Campy, broad comedy in a police setting.

(08) – Rubicon – Sorry for trying to make you think, people.

(09) – The Bridge – Jumped before it had a chance.

(10) – Running Wilde – Thankfully Will Arnett is on three other shows.

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Blast From The Past: The Dictators

Milder title, but the music is still molten lava

An old, live Dictators album? On a Sunday? 

Yeah, I was probably thinking about New York New York because I was writing about Scott Kempner yesterday. Not that I don’t pull this fireball of an album out with regularity, along with all my Dictators albums. But I mention this one again because it was first issued only on cassette with a much better title (Fuck ’em If They Can’t Take A Joke) before finally making it to CD. 

This April 1999 review (below) was one of the first things I wrote about The Dictators since I picked up the pen keyboard again in the mid-90s. Damned if I’m not still fighting the uphill battle eleven years later. Those who know, know, but there are still far too many non-converts. 

Well, fuck ’em if they can’t take a joke

Daddy...what's a cassette tape?

ROIR (Reachout International Records) was founded by former club owner and talent agent Neil Cooper in 1979 to provide a home for the bands that were dominating the New York scene at the time. His roster was incredible – Television, the New York Dolls, Bad Brains, Suicide and The Fleshtones among them. Amazingly, the label was cassette-only releases in an era still dominated by vinyl (the Sony Walkman had not yet debuted, but its arrival soon afterwards saved the label). Perhaps even more amazingly, this man with his finger on the pulse of the imminent musical explosion was 49 years old at the time. 

Now 68, Cooper and his label have been digitally transferring titles to CD for the past four years, and one of the newest re-releases might be the one that put ROIR on the map in the first place. Fuck Em If They Can’t Take A Joke was ROIR’s third release, a sonic atomic bomb from a five-headed street monster that was the perfect bridge between the urban glam of the New York Dolls and the punk edge of the Ramones. The Dictators kicked ass and took names, a dynamic blend of white heat and solid songwriting. 

They were loud and obnoxious, but if you looked closely you could see that tongue planted firmly in cheek. Not too closely, though…Former roadie turned lead vocalist “Handsome Dick” Manitoba prowled the stage like a rabid rhino, keeping time with Richie Teeter’s thunder drums. Ross “The Boss” Funicello played blistering lead guitar while Scott “Top Ten” Kempner held the fort on rhythm and Andy/Adny Shernoff handled bass. A Dictators show was a party and a war zone at the same time, and this night was no exception. 

The show was recorded live to two track in 1981 and contains many of the classic songs – “Two Tub Man”, “Next Big Thing”, “Loyola” and “Rock And Roll Made A Man Out Of Me” among them. The band smokes, but Funicello was especially hot – his solo on “Science Gone Too Far” is a classic that players seventeen years later have a hard time matching. Naturally, there’s a version of the set staple – Iggy‘s “Search And Destroy” (with a hilarious introduction by Manitoba) as well as covers of Mott and Lou Reed (“What Goes On”). Shernoff is a solid songwriter who leans toward the melodic, and “Weekend” is a great example of a pop song turned inside out. 

New York New York expands the original track list by adding three bonus cuts from a show at the Ritz. The soundboard recordings of “Master Race Rock”, “Baby Let’s Twist” and “Faster And Louder” catch the band on another solid night and were mastered by Shernoff last year for inclusion here. Ironically, as the recording date is listed as “the early 80’s”, these could have been from a show after the band’s official demise. 

The Dictators went their separate ways – Funicello to the heavy metal Man O War, Kempner to the late, great Del-Lords, Manitoba to his Wild Kingdom, but through it all they remained Dictators at heart. Always New York legends, recent years have seen them become gods in Spain (where even a tribute record was released) and add to their legend with new singles on Norton. In 1999, the band has finally acquired the rights to their final album Bloodbrothers and have released it on their own, later this year the classic Manifest Destiny may join it. But the best news of all is that there will be a new release in the coming months, so we can all ride their coattails as we face the New Millennium the way it should be – faster and louder. 

In the meantime, whether you have worn out your original ROIR cassette (as I did) or you never had the pleasure in the first place, you are in for a real treat with New York New York. For although Blondie and The Talking Heads made more money, and The Ramones had more imitators, and Television got more credit for being important, let’s set the record straight. Nobody, but nobody, embodied New York rock better than The Dictators

White Light, White Heat...White Castle

The Dictators have done more than release their back catalogue and occasionally regroup – in the last decade they have issued a brilliant new album (D.F.F.D.), a rarities/anthology disc (Every Day is Saturday) and a new blistering live album (Viva Dictators). They formed way back in 1973, but in 2010 The Dictators are still Faster And Louder. Get the albums, hunt down their shows, and when in New York City, visit Mecca.

Stay With Me live in Spain (where they are gods).

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Emmy Time! Predictions…

Swope

I previously railed about the unimaginative nominations when the Emmys first disclosed the final choices – click  here for my picks of one to drop from each category and whom to replace them with – but now it’s time for making the predictions.

Granted, I can’t figure out which way the wind blows on this thing better than anyone else. Seems like some people vote to repay a debt from a prior omission, while others try to judge fairly based upon that year’s work. Some nominees try the Putney Swope method by voting for the candidate they least expect to win – theoretically to not give a vote to a serious threat – and we all know how well that can turn out. Then there’s always the Pia Zadora method (bribery) and the evil darkness of studio politics. Whatever.

Here’s tonight’s ballot. Good luck and don’t wager your kid’s trust fund. I’ll be back tomorrow with the winners and some comments on the whole debacle after I speed through the commercials at midnight. Thanks to the wonderful invention of the DVR, I’ll be doing what any adult male should – watching the Giants/Cowboys game.

As for my predictions in the major categories? Note these are my picks for who will win, not who should win:

Outstanding Lead Actor In A Comedy Series: 30 Rock • Alec Baldwin as Jack Donaghy

Outstanding Lead Actor In A Drama Series: Mad Men • Jon Hamm as Don Draper

Outstanding Lead Actor In A Miniseries Or A Movie: Into The Storm • Brendan Gleeson as Winston Churchill

Outstanding Lead Actress In A Comedy Series: 30 Rock • Tina Fey as Liz Lemon

Outstanding Lead Actress In A Drama Series: The Closer • Kyra Sedgwick as Brenda Leigh Johnson

Outstanding Lead Actress In A Miniseries Or A Movie: Grey Gardens • Jessica Lange as Big Edie

Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Comedy Series: How I Met Your Mother • Neil Patrick Harris as Barney Stinson

Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Drama Series: Breaking Bad • Aaron Paul as Jesse Pinkman

Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Miniseries Or A Movie: Little Dorrit • Sir Tom Courtenay as Mr. Dorrit

Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Comedy Series: 30 Rock • Jane Krakowski as Jenna Maroney

Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Drama Series: In Treatment • Dianne Wiest as Gina

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Miniseries or Movie: Relative Stranger • Cicely Tyson as Pearl

Outstanding Guest Actor In A Comedy Series: 30 Rock • Steve Martin as Gavin Volure

Outstanding Guest Actor In A Drama Series: Rescue Me • Michael J. Fox as Dwight

Outstanding Guest Actress In A Comedy Series: Saturday Night Live • Tina Fey as Governor Sarah Palin

Outstanding Guest Actress In A Drama Series: Law & Order: Special Victims Unit • Carol Burnett as Bridget “Birdie” Sulloway

Outstanding Comedy Series: 30 Rock

Outstanding Drama Series: Lost

***

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