Six months have passed since my last Tweet, so I am wondering if I should blast out another message. Since I post every day, I guess I don’t see the need to tell people that they should stop by, since twenty-six months of daily posts should be enough to subtly infer that you might want to stop by regularly. I mean, after all, I’m trying to attract readers and thinkers, not someone with the attention span of a gnat on fire.
I really don’t want to waste anyone’s time telling them daily what the daily post is about – you can sign up for email or use an RSS feed for that. and frankly, I don’t think you’d really care that I ate a really great cheeseburger or that I went to a movie in a theatre for the first time in four months or that Mountain Dew still tastes like dog piss, or at least how I imagine dog piss would taste, not having actually sampled the nectar first hand.
But I do occasionally check in on some comedians who Tweet, and for them, the recent Oscar broadcast was like shooting fish in a barrell. I’ve had a long week, so let’s keep it light with Ten Tweeters you should check out – at least for their Oscar wit! Have a great weekend!
(01) – Norm MacDonald “By the time the dead guy montage starts, Kirk Douglas will be in it”
(02) – Nick Kroll “Stutter is the new retard”
(03) – Bill Maher “If you’re black and want to make it in Hollywood you better be a swan”
(04) – Joan Rivers “The smart nominees get Botox injections before the Academy Awards so if they lose, we won’t see the rage lurking behind their frozen faces.”
(05) – Chelsea Peretti “I know nothing about fashion but I wanna say shoulder cut-outs were a miscalc”
(06) – Drew Carey “To everyone disappointed in last nights Oscars: Serves you right for watching in the first place.”
(07) – Moshe Kasher “Wow Franco is ruining lines that were pre ruined by the writers.”
(08) – Natasha Leggero “Anyone know what corporation is shoving Anne Hathaway down our throats?”
(09) – Patton Oswalt “Whoever hugs Reese is gonna slit their jugular on her jawbone…”
(10) – Whitney Cummings “When did Gwyneth Paltrow become the Sarah Palin of country music?”
